never give it more than a frowning hour

Jai Ho!

Sun, 18 Jan 2009 21:56:02 GMT

I have discovered that I love being on performance tour. It's kind of intense (not like music trips in high school where you do touristy stuff; it's all driving, rehearsing, and putting on shows) but it's super fun. I'm filled with new love and appreciation for my fellow AME members, for our music, and for our audiences. Now I'm tempted to drop out of college to play music in the grand tradition of Kanye West. There's only one thing about touring that I don't like: it's super hard to eat healthfully. You have to find restaurants that can serve a lot of people very quickly without charging a lot, which basically means eating a lot of crap.

We stayed at this amazing hotel in Fargo called the C'mon Inn. (Really!) They have it set up so that the interior of the hotel is a sort of courtyard, filled with lush (fake) greenery. All the rooms are around the edges and look like motel rooms, each with its own little patio area. Ranged throughout the courtyard are a shuffleboard court, a ping-pong table, arcade games, and five hot tubs. January in Fargo means windchills of -50 degrees Fahrenheit, but being inside the C'mon Inn is like living in perpetual summer, or possibly in Adrian Veidt's Antarctic base.

We played a show at an elementary school, which was very strange. Everything in elementary schools is in miniature, and the colors are super bright. The best part, though, was when a group of us were walking through the halls after the show as the kids were getting ready to go home. The bell rang-- ridiculously loud and abrupt. We squawked and winced and clapped our hands to our ears. The little kids stared at us in disbelief. "It's just the bell," one of them informed us. I hadn't realized how unused to the way things are run in K-12 schools I had become. It was weird; I felt like a recently-landed alien.

Are you guys back at school yet?

Sun, 31 Aug 2008 04:45:37 GMT

M did this, and I thought it was cool. I'm nothing if not a follower.

Bold what applies to you:

Appearance:
- I am 5'4 or shorter.
- I think I'm ugly.
- I have many scars. (Bitsy ones, but yeah.)
- I tan easily. (I barely tan at all! But I don't burn easily, either.)
- I wish my hair was a different color.
- I have friends who have never seen my natural hair color.
- I have a tattoo.
- I am self-conscious about my appearance.
- I have/I've had braces. (Past tense, luckily)
- I wear glasses. (And sometimes contacts)
- I'd get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free, scar-free. (Does lasik count?)
- I've been told I'm attractive by a complete stranger.
- I have had more than 2 piercings. (Three is more than two...)
- I have had piercings in places besides my ears.
- I have freckles. (I have moles.)

Family/Home Life:
- I've sworn at my parents. (And they've sworn at me.)
- I've run away from home.
- I've been kicked out of the house.
- My biological parents are together. (They would be if my dad was alive.)
- I have a sibling less than one year old.
- I want to have kids someday. (I might want to adopt some.)
- I have children.
- I've lost a child.

Embarrassment:
- I've slipped out a "LOL" in a spoken conversation.
- Disney movies still make me cry. (Not Disney, so much. Some movies do.)
- I've snorted while laughing.
- I've laughed so hard I've cried.
- I've glued my hand to something.
- I've laughed till some kind of beverage came out of my nose.
- I've had my trousers rip in public.

Health:
- I was born with a disease/impairment. (Well, myopia.)
- I've had stitches.
- I've broken a bone.
- I've had my tonsils removed. (No, but I had my adnoids removed.)
- I've sat in a doctor's office with a friend.
- I've had my wisdom teeth removed.
- I've had serious surgery.
- I've had chicken pox.

Traveling:
- I've driven over 200 miles in one day. (If being in the car counts as driving)
- I've been on a plane.
- I've been to North America.
- I've been to Niagara Falls.
- I've been to Japan.
- I've been to Europe.
- I've been to Africa.

Experiences:
- I've been lost in my city.
- I've seen a shooting star.
- I've wished on a shooting star.
- I've seen a meteor shower.
- I've gone out in public in my pajamas.
- I've pushed all the buttons in a lift.
- I've been to a casino.
- I've been skydiving.
- I've gone skinny dipping.
- I've played spin the bottle.
- I've crashed a car.
- I've been skiing.
- I've been in a play.
- I've met someone in person from the Internet
- I've caught a snowflake on my tongue.
- I've seen the Northern Lights.
- I've sat on a roof top at night.
- I've played chicken.
- I've seen the Rocky Horror Show
- I've eaten sushi.
- I've been snowboarding

Relationships:
- I'm single.
- I'm in a relationship.
- I'm available.
- I'm engaged.
- I'm married.
- I've gone on a blind date.
- I've been the dumpee more than the dumper.
- I have a fear of abandonment.
- I've been divorced.
- I've had feelings for someone who didn't have them back. (Kiiiind of)
- I've told someone I loved them when I didn't.
- I've told someone I didn't love them when I did.
- I've kept something from a past relationship.

Sexuality:
- I've had a crush on someone of the same gender.
- I've kissed a member of the same gender. (...on the cheek!)
- I've had sex with someone of the opposite gender.
- I've had sex with someone of the same gender.
- I've had sex with more than one person at the same time.
- I am a cuddler.
- I've been kissed in the rain.
- I've had sex outdoors.
- I've hugged a stranger.
- I have kissed a stranger.
- I have had sex with a stranger.

Honesty/Crime:
- I've done something I promised someone else I wouldn't.
- I've done something I promised myself I wouldn't.
- I have lied to my parents about where I am.
- I am keeping a secret from the world.
- I've cheated while playing a game.
- I've cheated on a test.
- I've driven through a red light. (I've driven through a stop sign)
- I've been suspended from school. (Nope, just detention)
- I've witnessed a crime. (Multiple crimes.)
- I've been in a fist fight.
- I've been arrested.
- I've shoplifted.

Drugs/Alcohol:
- I've consumed alcohol.
- I smoke cigarettes.
- I smoke pot.
- I regularly drink. (I only drink socially, and never in the drinking to get drunk sense. Is that "regularly"?)
- I've taken painkillers when I didn't need them.
- I take cough medication when I'm not sick.
- I've done hard drugs.
- I've been addicted to an illegal substance.
- I can't swallow pills. (Sometimes I can, sometimes they lodge in my throat and BURN)
- I can swallow about 5 pills at a time no problem.

Mental health:
- I have been diagnosed with depression.
- I shut others out when I'm depressed.
- I take anti-depressants.
- I have an eating disorder. (If eating too much counts, I do)
- I've slept an entire day when I didn't need it.
- I've hurt myself on purpose.
- I'm addicted to self harm.
- I've woken up crying.

Death:
- I'm afraid of dying.
- I hate funerals. (Not at all, I find them fascinating.)
- I've seen someone dying. (DUDE, I can totally see thestrals. Is that what they're called?)
- I have attempted suicide.
- Someone close to me has attempted suicide.
- Someone close to me has committed suicide.

Random:
- I can sing well. (Yeah, okay, I guess. I can carry a tune.)
- I've stolen a tray from a fast food restaurant. (Why would I do that?)
- I open up too others too easily.
- I watch the news.
- I don't kill bugs. (If I can at all help it.)
- I hate hearing songs that sacrifice meaning for sake of being able to rhyme.
- I fucking swear regularly. (I fucking swear on fucking occasion. Shit.)
- I sing in the shower. (I hate showers and try to get them over with as fast as possible.)
- I am a morning person.
- I paid for my mobile phone ring tone. (No, I'm cheap. Plus my phone is usually on vibrate.)
- I'm a snob about grammar. (In formal writing, yeah. On the internet, not so much.)
- I am a sports fanatic.
- I play with my hair.
- I have/had "x"s in my screen name.
- I love being neat (I wish!)
- I love Spam.
- I've copied more than 30 CDs in a day.
- I bake well.
- My favorite color is either white, yellow, pink, red or blue. (Don't have one.)
- I don't know how to shoot a gun. (I can shoot a bow or a bb gun.)
- I am in love with love. (Not romantic love, though.)
- I am guilty of tYpInG lIkE tHiS.
- I laugh at my own jokes.
- I eat fast food weekly. (BARF!)
- I believe in ghosts. (I don't not believe in ghosts...)
- I am online 24/7, even as an away message.
- I can't sleep if there is a spider in the room. (I am a champion sleeper.)
- I am really ticklish.
- I love white chocolate. (I love all chocolate.)
- I bite my nails.
- I play video games.
- I'm good at remembering faces.
- I'm good at remembering names.
- I'm good at remembering dates. (Hahaha I'm practically an amnesiac)
- I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life.

- My answers are totally honest

what a very special time for me

Sun, 24 Aug 2008 21:18:51 GMT

It turns out that the trip through the wilderness was HELLA FUN. The people in my group were both sweet and totally hilarious. The scenery was excellent. I got to slide down waterfalls, guys. Also, I just generally love being outdoors, away from civilization. Everything becomes more simple. There's nothing to stress you out, you just eat when you're hungry and sleep when you're tired and spend the rest of the time chilling with your awesome new friends. I kind of fear that I'm spoiled now. College is about to become less like day camp and more like school, and I'm not sure if I'm ready for that.

Last night was my cousin's wedding, for which (you may remember) I read a poem. That was pretty great too. I love talking and being the center of attention, and the poem was received really well. It must have been my delivery, because this was a really terrible poem. (The person on that page is not actually my cousin).

Weddings are just so cool! Free cake! Free champagne! Dancing to awesome cheesy music! The problem with the latter was that most of the people available for me to dance with were either my grandma or really drunk guys who kept awkwardly hitting on me. Okay, maybe that was less a "problem" and more a "totally hilarious thing." Although my uncle describing me as "hot, single, and ready to go?" Kiiind of creepy. (Anyway, this is another thing I now have in common with Jon Walker: sleazy dancing with scary older dudes at weddings.)

I'm about to go meet with my academic adviser to finalize my schedule. Ahhh, school! I don't want to think about it!

as requested

Fri, 25 Jul 2008 16:50:41 GMT

Here is the download link for Hollaback Boy.

Also of note: it looks like I'll be going on an orientation trip into the great outdoors after all. I should probably be excited, but mostly I'm kind of freaked. I really hope the people in my group are nice! I don't know why I thought it was a good idea to sign up to traipse through the wilderness with a bunch of strangers. D:

Fri, 18 Jul 2008 04:16:36 GMT

I think those waffles
were acidic. Holy crap,
my throat is on fire!

OBJECTION

Thu, 17 Jul 2008 07:14:49 GMT

Haiku² for tonparapluie
they had just hired some new clarinet players and weren't looking
@

Created by Grahame

Well, I love haiku poetry as much as (quite possibly more than) the next girl. But I don't know that I can get behind a haiku in which two of the lines have the wrong number of syllables. I'm not just counting wrong, am I?

Haiku² for tonparapluie
in my life go i met scarlett johansson this was because i think
@

Created by Grahame

This one seems to be accurate... and that's practically some e.e. cummings shiznit right there. Or possibly Descartes.

Haiku for today

Wed, 09 Jul 2008 18:32:55 GMT

A bright, sunny day
But the air smells like tuna

Fish? What's up with that?

ETA:
I picked out a song
All by ear on my keyboard
Now I'm triumphant!

it was going to be a birthday story but I couldn't wait

Thu, 26 Jun 2008 04:33:21 GMT

Once upon a time, there lived a (mostly) happy band of lovely young friends named

aviria   , bessyboo   , green_griffin1   , moonlingmaid   , pandorathene   , and solar__eclipse   . They spent their days roaming about the countryside in a carefree fashion, going on adventures and getting up to all kinds of shenanigans. Unfortunately, few of their favorite activities ( having parties, telling bedtime stories, time traveling, "studying," saving people, hunting things, etc.) paid very well. They were always on the lookout for more cash.

One day they found themselves in a kingdom know as Central. It seemed to be a prosperous kingdom, so they decided to split up and search for ways to earn money. bessyboo    wandered around the kingdom, looking for a place where her skills would be useful. She went first to the royal theatre, for she was well-versed in stage managing and setting up lights and generally bossing people about. But the theatre had plenty of techies and thus had no need of her services. Next, she tried to join the king's band, but they had just hired some new clarinet players and weren't looking for any more.

Unsure of where to look next, bessyboo    walked about aimlessly, finally finding herself in the little duchy of English, on the north side of Central. Duchess Hutchinson, who ruled this area, welcomed her. "I don't suppose," said the Duchess thoughtfully, "you know anything about computers?"

bessyboo    did, in fact, know a great deal about computers. The Duchess showed to English's main computer, which hadn't been working right for days. bessyboo    was able to fix it within a matter of minutes. "Truly amazing!" exclaimed Duchess Hutchinson. "As a reward, I'll give you the most valuble thing I have to offer-- the hand in marriage of one of my junior ladies-in-waiting!" She gestured to a young woman who was sitting in a nearby desk, writing furiously.

"No offense, Duchess," said bessyboo   , "but I don't really want to marry anyone. And, um, definitely not a lady-in-waiting."

"But I must insist!" cried the Duchess. "You've earned the right fair and square."

"You know," the lady-in-waiting put in timidly, "we wouldn't actually have to get married. I could just come with you. Not to hurt anyone's feelings, but I find life at court to be rather dull, sometimes. I've always wanted to go on adventures!"

bessyboo    raised an eyebrow. "I'm not sure if the kind of life I live is appropriate for a lady-in-waiting," she said. "My friends and I are involved in all kinds of dangerous things: movie nights, forensic science, Harry Potter fanfiction--"

"Harry Potter fanfiction!" said the lady-in-waiting, beaming. "I love Harry Potter fanfiction!"

So bessyboo    decided it might not be such a bad thing to have the lady-in-waiting along after all. "As long as you don't actually want to get married," she said skeptically.

"Oh, no," said the lady-in-waiting cheerfully. "I don't really care to marry anyone, except possibly Iron Man."

And that is how tonparapluie    became friends with bessyboo    and eventually the rest of her happy band of friends. And they all lived happily ever after

we will still be friends forever

Fri, 06 Jun 2008 18:20:06 GMT

While cleaning house yesterday I found, in my ninth grade English binder, a ripped piece of paper with the following on it (in my handwriting):

In a Field, one dewy dawn-
I Wandered through the Rows-
the Sun climbed High in a painted Sky-
I Watched it- as it Rose-

As my feet Disturbed them-
black-feathered cowbirds flew-
And Climbed- to join the smiling sun-
in its expanse of Blue-

I came upon a Scarecrow-
alone-amidst the Corn-
with painted smile he greeted me-
and welcomed the dawning Morn-

When I asked "How do you do?"-
he gave me no reply-
we stood alone among the Plants-
that straw-filled Man- and I-

My questions are: 1)Did I write this (because I think I did, but I can't remember. Have you seen it before?), and 2)If I did write it, I was trying to imitate somebody's writing. Was it Emily Dickenson?

On the back of the same sheet:

"I don't really know her very well."
"Me neither. But she's always writing. She writes a lot of poems and uses a lot of ellipses... and exclamation points!"

Oh wow, I was so funny in ninth grade. I also found a rather badly-written paper edited by Bess: the very paper, in fact, that began our friendship.

Plus:

her skillful fingers
give birth to bright-colored
birds of Paradise that land on the ground
in a silent motionless dance about her feet

like telling a secret
she leans in close and
in a coffee-scented whisper says “if you
make a thousand you get a wish”

i smile and ask her “what
will you wish for” because in
these cold dirty times there
is a lot to want

she closes her eyes and drops
another shiny paper hope into
the dust, muttering “five hundred
and seventy-six”

Today is my graduation party. 5:30 PM. Be there. And happy graduation to M.

Arriba!

Sun, 06 Apr 2008 19:56:14 GMT

I went salsa dancing last night (which I know I said was going to happen last week, but it was rescheduled). The venue (Loring Pasta Bar) is one of the coolest buildings I have ever entered. It has a big dance floor with a balcony above it, so one can lean over and look down at the people dancing, all illuminated by swirling lights, and be mesmerized by the glamour of it all. The walls are aged brick and draped with lights and velour hangings. The booths around the edge of the dance floor (because the Loring is a restaurant by day and a club by night) are deep red cloth in a sexy curve around dark hardwood tables. The ceilings are sweeping, the doors are classic wood paneling. The friends I was with were examining the guys on the dance floor; I was just examining the architecture like the total social reject I am.

You can go there with no idea of how to salsa dance and it's perfectly okay, as long as you are young and female and reasonably good looking. There are any number of eligible young Latino men standing on the edges of the dance floor who will simply leap at the chance to teach you. You have to remember, though, that they are only after one thing, and it's not to help you perfect your steps. I was dancing with what's-his-face and he was all running his hands up and down my sides and whispering "do you work out?" and praising my salsa skills (I have no salsa skills) and telling me how much he liked dancing with me. Also of note is that these guys know the words to all the songs the DJ plays. "Mio, mio, mio," crooned what's-his-face. "Do you know what that means?" he asked, looking deep into my eyes. "It means 'mine.'" Suddenly I needed to go see how my friends were doing.

It was a good time, don't get me wrong. And no more sleazy than a high school dance, really. Probably less so. I kind of like being able to get into 18+ stuff.

On a largely unrelated note, Panic at the Disco was on SNL last night. Did anyone watch it? I taped it but haven't gotten a chance to check it out yet.

On another largely unrelated note, I've been making so many smoothies lately. I'm really starting to appreciate the magic my blender can work. Mmmm, fresh fruit! Healthful and delicious!

summer lies waiting to spring

Sat, 15 Mar 2008 03:57:26 GMT

Today I took my first bike ride of the season. Perhaps that's an admission that will cause true bicycle aficianados to turn up their noses. Unfortunately, I simply haven't the fortitude for winter bike riding. It amazes me that anoyone does. I think I would collapse from cold.

I had to inflate the tires beforehand, and by inflate I mean "flail around helplessly until my mother came and helped me." It's one of the great mysteries of life that I can attempt to work a tire pump for several minutes and she can come over, do what appears to be exactly what I've been doing, and have it done in seconds. It should be noted that she turns fifty tomorrow. A big milestone!

I only rode through one muddy puddle, which seems like it can be counted as a victory. No-one yelled at me or ran me over, which can definitely be counted as a victory. When I got to the record shop (that's where I was going) and finished chaining up my bike, a man drove by and honked at me from his rusty pick-up. It's not that I never get sleazy guys driving past me and honking/yelling/&c. The thing is, though, that I wasn't exactly looking like the kind of girl you honk at (in my knitted earflap hat and shapeless peacoat). Do these guys even look before they honk, or do they just see something vaguely female and lay on the horn?

Also: it's pi day! I hope you've been appreciative of irrational numbers.

sunday with chocolate on top

Fri, 15 Feb 2008 23:46:58 GMT

Dear members of study group,

Would you/could you come to my house on Sunday afternoon into evening?

(I live at 1837 Hewitt Avenue and my house is... well, if not totally cool, at least livable.)

(You'd probably have to bring something entertaining to watch, otherwise we're bout to be watching Newsies. My DVD collection, it is not expansive.)

i hope you got out the vote

Thu, 07 Feb 2008 03:07:29 GMT

Yesterday was kind of interesting, as weekdays in my life go. I met Scarlett Johansson! This was because I work on the news crew at my school, and she visited and gave a presentation about caucuses on our video announcements. Things got pretty crazy; the door to the studio was locked but we could hear kids outside, pounding on it and screaming "I love you Scarlett!" and demanding to be let in. Her entourage had to get her out through the little-known back passageways of the school basement. Which, on the one hand, was really funny, but also made me so glad that I'm not famous. I imagine Scarlett can't go anywhere without being hounded by the adoring masses, and that's got to get old after a while.

I also went to my caucus (which I swear I would have done even without an movie star suggesting it). A record number of people turned up, which meant that there was an awful lot of standing around in lines and that I voted on a little scrap of paper because they had run out of ballots. I had a bit of trouble deciding for whom to cast my ballot, because in all honesty I think either Clinton or Obama would be a pretty good president. Who I ended up choosing is confidential. :D

(Also I keep typing "ballet" instead of "ballot.")

good evening ladies & gents

Sat, 02 Feb 2008 04:21:56 GMT

When making this account, I had the hardest time proving I wasn't a robot. I kept thinking I had that ugly little combination of letters and numbers typed in correctly, and I kept being wrong. One could, I suppose, regard this as a suggestion that I am not in fact human.